The Saga Of Nina. Estrogen Emotional Riding

Pushing 100 days sober and struggling daily is the norm; composure is hard to hold for me. Im not the type to complain so I’ll just say I’m proud of myself for conquering these days and coming out on top. But I cried yesterday. I cried myself to sleep; over the last 6 months I have been a lot, doing a lot of crying; perhaps I had not realized that estrogen would leave me so emotionally vunerable. One day is amazing and then one day is terrible. I woke up this morning and threw up, no idea why… I’m quite delicate… needy… I cried myself to sleep because I could only see negative and its hard to pull your mind out of the gutter, it really is. I worked very hard all day to keep my mind state positive but eventually it cracked. It feels amazing though; to wake up… and have another day to try again.

Although yesterday was painful; I definitely experienced a spiritual awakening, it felt empowering and liberating. A feeling that anything I want to do is possible and that I have the power inside me to bring a little more compassion into the world, to myself, my family and eventually the world… As you read this I want you to know that you have this power inside you as well.

What do I want to do today? This is important to me: Another day to try again!  If it involves my girlfriend, sunshine or skateboarding I think I would be content. No, I would be estatic. My girl is asleep in the next room n I just wished she was up to start this day. Codependant indeed… I miss her even when she’s here; its hard to explain… I crave her touch, her eyes and her smile, her words and to just be in her essence and when she is literally gone its often a struggle. She changed my life in ways words cannot express and still, love is hard. Also extremely hard to uh… explain … I love her.

Thinking of the near future and my inner buddha vandal: I have a bunch of aerosol cans: Pink, black and white and I’m definitely going to be painting something soon; I have a wall in mind… Flowers.





Sofles – Wayfarer — An Insane Look at Graffiti in Melbourne Australia


A recent video presented by graffiti artist Sofles features the Aussie writer followed in one continuous shot as he wanders through the streets of Melbourne. This video was made possible to an amazing group of people, who came together to help us celebrate and pay homage to the Collingwood and Fitzroy area of Melbourne. Our […]

via Sofles – Wayfarer —


Practicing what we preach: out of reach; searching for peace but I think this is a unique piece:

In the midst of a middle riddle; I fiddle on the electronicals with supersonic speed atomical precision decision making heart racing; facing myself is always hardest; trying to depart it: impossible my clause interconnecting and hopping obstacles.

Questioning everything and returning to my breath; nothingness its so comforting but than again: back to reality of tragedy; calamity the causes of suffering: uttering threats into my inner soul; so powerful it can be picked up by Interpol.

Its funny how quick I switch from enlightened n lit to a frightened little bitch; I need to hitch a ride back to the relaxed fact that everything is in fact fine and intact or is it? Here I go again in slow motion repent everything I ever did.

Wait… everything happens for a reason and it has a deeper meaning resonating in my soul just waiting to defeat my demons that be ever scheming on my being…

Back to the breath again, rest again, is that just me repressing them? “Thoughts”….. “Not” if I continue to learn from the lessons and suggestions by enlightened messengers descending from whats basically heaven sent.

Purposefully I use the words perfect like word perfect it auto-corrects my words to be well worth it, hoping I’m serving the world when my splurges like this hit the net surfing. Im just gonna ride the wave till i wash up on shore and find that place where Im not nervous…

They say that words move mountains; its true. My life and what I’m wanting to do. If I never grow up I’ve found the fountain of youth. But if I don’t grow I’m stuck up in this cycle : abuse.

So what am I gonna do? Take it day by day / play by play. What else do you want me to say?

Peace be upon you; today is a beautiful day.





MY MUSE: Ice Cream Fiend. Rewritten by me; By Poet Unknown


Iced cream…

‘I was an iced cream “fiend”.

One day i decided i needed a scoop of… “rainforest crunch”.

Now… “cup or cone?”…

Cup or cone cup or cone…

When getting iced cream one is always faced with this conundrum

Cup or cone cup or cone?

You see if I take a cup… ill wonder about the cone.


You see with the cone;

I lick the tip… and then i crunch n munch the cone

then i lick the tip AND THEN I CRUNCH N MUNCH THE CONE

I take a big bite

Crunching n munching…

then i lick my lips…


cause I like that game…