All posts by goodnightnina

Transgender Artist and Producer Vancouver Canada Ninavestergaard26@gmail.com http://www.youtube.com/innashademusic http://www.ninayinartcollection.WordPress.com My name is Nina Yin Vestergaard / Nina Shade , 27 year old transgender female from Vancouver Canada. Currently doing art / studying full time. I try to indulge in as many art forms as possible. Connect with me!

Zen pen blot jot

I see the words along the page

As eyes watch my words

Words describing themselves

I’m inscribing myself

On hyperweb

I’m hyperactivity

Depraved of my enlightenment

it’s
Captivity

Perhaps if my ego is forgiven me n no longer lives in me

More mindful kindness handfuls of love to remind us

Of compassion as we face life’s lashes

Nina

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New… About me

Through my weary eyes, I type. It is 5 am as the sun begins to rise on my side of this planet. My wife lay asleep while candles flicker throughout the house. Traditional Japanese music softly plays from the television. I don’t know why I’m writing but I do it regardless.

It’s been a very long time since I have been blogging and a lot has changed. I’m married with a step son now. And I’m sober for the first time in my life. To be honest I’ve never felt better. I am on a path; this path is beautiful.

And as I write the sun continues to rise and the music continues to play and time is slipping away into next and the best thing I can do is simply view it.

I’ve always counted my blessings. Abundant. Thankful.

There’s too much beauty in this world to waste any time in my personal opinion. So I practice love. Through various ways and means. I’ve been working very hard to better myself for my self. It’s working as my self doubt is exhaled into nothingness. Leaving me with nothing but peace.

Born

I have been reborn over and over but… This time is different I’ve never been sober for this long; decades of relentless; alcohol dependence

The days are in the hundreds; gather abundance; knowledge. Confront my fears try to be humble and acknowledge.

Keep focus; meditation half lotus. Buddha quotes rewrote them post them. Try to be open.

Lessons learned; a great deal. I wait still. Time stands still. The virtue of patience.

As I await, awake here.

Movement

I want to keep going N I cannot stop and wait for change

I have momentum and I’ve been waiting days n months but I won’t wait years

At a ropes end and I may have to jump because I have no option

I adopted a life that I wanted to nourish and flourish but instead it’s stagnant

I don’t wish to devide to conquer I want unified pride and efforts and strive to be better

This planet is falling apart help me to fix mother earth n please help me to make this work

We have to be better for ourselves n the seeds that are underneath our wings

How can we expect them to fly if we don’t even try I’m looking at the depth of tomorrow trying to conquer my sorrow.

Take a step back and look. Now come and take ten steps ahead instead because we should dread this pace we are going.

It’s torture not knowing .