Why did I title this… against all odds? Happiness? Well..For months and months Ive been battling health issues. I spent over a month being dehydrated and extremely light headed (fainting occasionally) and I “FINALLY” conquered that issue recently. It was preventing me from getting work and I was exited for it to be over. BUT Week or Two later… I began throwing up every morning uncontrollably… Its like morning sickness but Im sadly not pregnant…This has persisted for over a month now as well and we still aren’t really sure what is causing me to be so sick this time, the medication they gave me doesn’t seem to be working… But whatever y’know? Against all odds Imma Just Do Me and BE HAPPY.
I can’t let this sh–t drag me down; I will do whatever I got to do to get through this! and do it happily along the way, hehehe… Peace to all of my followers! and all the people I follow! So much respect to my fellow bloggers, you definitely without knowing it have helped me through these times haha… I don’t like to do any : ANY complaining blog posts. No thats not my style at all. This is a post about positivity and striving to do your best when things are trying to drag you down.
I love my girlfriend (my muse) lol, love her very much and my extremely supportive parents and I know they all want to see me doing well and being happy. I hope I make em proud… I celebrate 3 years on hormone replacement therapy ;So thats three years of my life I am extremely EXTREMELY thankful for; its been amazing. No doubt; amazing. Came a long way from last year itself. And yeah… Thats about it for the thankful rant…
Peace everyone. Stay happy, positive and strive on. (Through all obstacles)
I was always picked last-in sports. I laugh at being picked-last because they saw past what I could not. Even recognize in the first place. Never did I see first place in sports but I took up a new gender like sports… wait… lets reverse pace. I was picked last because perhaps they knew before I knew I was a girl before I… Knew I was a girl. (Did I twirl?) Was that the give away? I remember once being told I looked like one. I was absolutely dumbfounded ; at the age of 12. Delve into childhood. Perhaps that was around the time I began to find my self. Im not sure… What I’m sure of is that I can never be sure of… damn near anything. OTHER THAN MY DECISION TO TRANSITION. That meant everything.
It wasn’t hard to transition at all, it was hard to pretend to be a man like FRAUD. (Guilty as charged)!. I feel complete sorrow for my sisters across the globe who would die to transition but can’t because of this GOD DAMN world. “I’m waiting on tomorrow”
Im lucky as FUCK… and Its called hormone replacement “therapy” and it worked miracles for my clarity. Anyone against transgender rights can spare me. Beware the… power of hatred in the world; us girls got it hard sometimes and that scares me. I survived a lot and Im extremely thankful. I could do a lot of different things for a bankroll but I’d rather write a little rhyme thats… tasteful.
Love you Larissa.
People.”Some people”… think being transgender is wrong. It’s unnatural and disgusting, That I’m disgraceful. Looking at myself: Being myself, Expressing myself. ; I have absolutely no idea what they are taking about.
And I will “DESTROY” what ever life decides to throw at me.
Waking up and feeling amazing / Dumbfounded by the amount of dreams I had last night. What a miracle that I can see so much of my imagination uncontrolled while I sleep. I have been many places since I went to bed; It was truly dark… and truly beautiful. Life is extremely good. Ive had a few hard days but overall I am extremely thankful. Thankful that I made it through the last week. Even more so; I feel I am blessed.
Sitting here…. Here as I drink coffee and wait to see what my energy levels are like for today. Babbling away thinking… I want my girlfriend to move in with me… So very badly I want this. So: I’m hopefully going to chat with the landlord today and see if he can be open minded and take a pet deposit and having her move in with me. My girlfriend loves her dog; they are almost inseparable. I lover her dogs too… And I hate the fact we spend so much time apart. So I am working on it! I sent him a text but I think language is a huge barrier. Anyways Love You Hun, Miss You, Working on it!
Blogging has been a great outlet for me. I have three now that I am working on: My art blog ninayinartcollection now has 50 of my pieces posted which is really nice to see come together and if I am ever to want an art gig or class I can use it as my portfolio. Goodnightnina is becoming chaotic in my mind I am not 100% sure if I should start again and or perhaps I need to re-evaluate the content I post and keep on this page, hmmmmm, and then I started a little street photography blog ninalovesvancity which I hope to expand on as soon as I can. Only started a few days ago and its already glitchy. Oh well.
Transitioning is still great. I still love shopping and going out. I still love doing my make-up and getting to choose outfits. I still love taking pictures. I still love being able to be my authentic true self and expressing that however way I want to. I still love how my body and face have changed (however slightly that may be). I still love… well everything I guess when it comes to the changes.
Still Love Writing.
Touching on the subject. Going male to female….
Although I had been dressing as a female in public for many years, and living as a woman on and off. For relationship reasons sigh… : For one year I had attempted to be completely male, bad mistake. “Now” Realizing how far from the real me I had been “acting”. I got into a treatment program and started hormones with almost a completely shaved head, YIKES. I had been working construction heavily and was extremely muscular, you can see in this video: A male version of me. Right before Hormone Replacement Therapy.
I was extremely sceptical if I could find my way back to my feminine self. I was and always am faced with little bits of discrimination here and there, It made me anxious but I knew I had to try or I would regret it for the rest of my…
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I didn’t get the opportunity to grow up wearing dresses. I feel … naked!