Category Archives: Transgender

“Keep going!” she said…

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The tears

They stream down my face.

On a breakdown verge.

An… Apocalypse

Of the mind

Shattered pieces of life

Ashes

Something is heard through my sobbing…

Hearing myself as a child.

Screaming at me…

Screaming through space and time

At the top of her lungs

Through the years of pain and anguish

She screams.

“Keep going! Your almost there!”.

I hear her…

and I turn away from my nightmare….

wipe my chin*

“Thank you”.

I say back to her…

And place one more step

And then another…

Towards the concept…

The idea…

Of freedom…

And all of its glory.

 

-Nina

 

What I am not …. “What I shouldn’t have to do … “!!

It Is What It Is

Pride

~~June 22, 2016~~ 

THOUGHTS

Simple Definition of pride

a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people
a feeling that you are more important or better than other people
a feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good, difficult

Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary

http://www.merriam-webster.com/

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~~GRAPHIC SOURCE~~ 

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#Pride #Definition #NotAnAbomination #NotHurtingAnyone #FearforMyLife #LookBothWays #HoldingPartnersHand #Worry #BeingMurdered #CelebrateWhoIAm #RespectYourself  #DeserveToBeRespected #FeelingMoreImportant #FeelingOfHappiness #DoSomethingGood #MerriamWebstersLearnersDictionary

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We ALL are ONE!! 

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The Internal and External Struggle For The “Transgender” Soul

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When I was around the age of 14 I looked into the mirror late one evening… I saw a surprised young female staring back at me and little did I know the perils facing me in the next coming decade…. Growing up as a rambunctious hoodlum I was extremely oblivious of the world around me. Although I was a sponge of all brands of culture I had no real concept of what it meant to see yourself a little different. I am now 27 years old, socially and self aware; finally am speaking to professionals about my ambition to be my opposite gender.

Internally the struggle to live as a functioning transgender member of society is indifferent and extremely additive to an already visually polluted and corrupted mind set of the world today. The DSM |V is a diagnostic statistics manual for mental health disorder’s. In the DSM they have recently changed the “gender identity disorder” to “gender dysmorphic disorder” or “gender dysphoria”. Dysphoric basically means that one does not feel right being “the norm” they believe that they must be different from what some may expect them to be (at least they removed disorder). Regardless, professional opinion is that if one dresses or acts beyond the expectation it is beyond the “norm”. I say fuck your expectations but hey… thanks for noticing we exist.

Transgender youth are at higher risk for numerous violent crimes, murders, suicides and other unpredictable circumstances in North North America. Externally we truly have a lot of monumental atrocities to deal with at this period in history, but at the same time “We Out Here” trying to change things fo’ yo’ kids! No body wants to be the subject of extreme bullying, hate crimes, gay/trans bashing ect, ect, ect. More and more people are “outing” and “coming out”, we are all dealing with this on one level or another. Thank you to all of the people fighting every day for a more accepting and loving society.

As we fight this never-ending battle with the world and with ourselves, its our soul whom we owe the victor. You are your own biggest fan! Trust in yourself and thus in your life because some say in the end… “thats all you have”. But give thanks to all your friends and family love them dearly from here to the ends of the earth because it doesn’t matter if you gay, straight, trans or bi. We all here together and nobody wants to live a lie.

-Nina

Journal Entry Number I don’t Know, bloop. :)

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Just waking up at 6 Am. Feeling pretty good today; in turn from sleeping nearly 12 hours I am guessing?  I know, thats a F***ing long sleep right? My day today… Hoping that my girlfriends car has the life to make a trip over to my house… we really got to get that S*** fixed! It’s ugly outside and I need her to come over and cuddle, watch movies and let me cook her some dinner. As hard as I think I am sometimes, thats kind of played out, I’ve realized I mostly am not. Probably more of a softy. More interested in warmth, love, compassion ect. and I miss her / I miss her a lot.  But no matter what she’s definitely worth the wait…

The day is so young; but I’m wide awake. Wanting time to go by just a little bit faster. Not that I’m upset, I’m just optimistic for the day. Even with a clouded sky I will have smiling eyes. Although unsure at times if my writing is worth the words written I’ll continue nonetheless, for the sake I’ll look back one day, learn from it, or cherish it. I love looking back at my art, music and videos but for the first time in my life I’m trying to take the artistic approach of writing seriously. Not in the sense that I am going in any particular direction with it but in the sense that no matter what happens that I will simply continue doing it, whatever the days may bring.

Poetry has become an intricate part of my day to day life having been reading it everyday on my wordpress feed. I love reading poetry these days more than I ever have before. Its spilled it’s way into my youtube channel and also a great way of expressing my feelings, to the world and to the people I love. I’d say that poetry, how little or how much I do maybe was always a part of me. Hip hop is also poetry and I’ve been missing that feeling when you lay down a clean 16 bars. I try to write bars everyday only to get frustrated when its not exactly how I want it to be, frustrating me and leaving me wondering if it might be more productive to just get on and freestyle some stuff out till it just sounds right. I DONT KNOW! -writers block- ?

Anyways, hope you all have a great day!

Heres a little link-pooh.

Nina – Are you listening? Slam poetry rap.