Everything is falling apart; but everything is coming together
Destroy and rebuild; rebuild and destroy, Yes I endeavoured
I created a world and left it behind n I…. Still shine.
Creating a new place; place n peace of mind n I’m
Suffering uncomfortably then suddenly…
Blissful in nothingness*
My 3rd eye moonshine remove I from crude times..
Zen bends my lights to the contexts that I suggest
So the world is mine and I am simple sublime
Construct my life obscuring obstruction
Its my life; I play like a conductor
N My heart beats like percussion
And I’m not scared to die like life is nothing
But I die to live; my life is mine to give
Forgive me for living like what I got to lose is nothing
What would you expect in this time of glutton?
Life is something.
Its a Mindful Morning,
I am so utterly blessed and thankful to be able to write; breathe and live my life as well as share. I am so very fortunate for everything that I have and the people I keep beside me with all of my heart. I want to bless the world today in as many ways as I possibly can; to tell you that you are loved and everything is going to be just fine; no matter where you are. In retrospect simply living in love; A very beautiful way to start my day as I type away and smile; feeling blessed.
I love the mornings and have for many years. I wake up and thank the universe for another day in a sense; and another its always another chance to try again. I’m usually up long before the sunrise and greeting the world with peace. Its always so quiet and so dark… relaxing to the mind. Sipping my coffee. A much needed vice. (Black) Bzzzzzz.
But… I’m fighting a health issue which doesn’t make waking up in the morning very pleasant at first; I fight it; for I love my mornings and I try to get over it as soon as I possibly can…
Right now it is 4 am and I’m just pondering what all needs to be done today. Which isn’t much! Just make some calls and get some refills on a medication; not much to do! Oh. And clean the house… I could probably be doing that one now and I will shortly.
Its been odd to be living completely alone so far from most of the people I know but I am very thankful for everything that Ive gained by getting out and on my own. My own space to keep sacred and do with what I please, whenever I please. Ive lived in quite a few places and I think I am the happiest here. My landlord is very nice and I haven’t bothered him nor him bother me even once.
Before here… it was months in the shelter and even sleeping in an RV; times that were very good and times that were very bad. The RV I bought to get me out of the shelter; oh god did it get cold; but was fun while it lasted….
Anyways; I loved when I moved into this house and it was completely empty; other than my few things I had scrounged up to move in. It was very zendo like to have such few possessions but realistically; my potential to thrive required more.
My girlfriend would visit me constantly and help me get everything I need and it wasn’t long before I did have everything I need and more; she has been amazing. Even getting me this laptop I am typing on now so I could continue with wordpress and youtube (Thank you babe). She helped with furniture, appliances, groceries and anything I could have asked for.
My health issues will be dealt with soon. I have faith in that! And then I can chase dreams and chase much needed paper to provide myself with an even more comfortable living. Right now I am seeing the doctors way too much and am not going to put anything else on my plate. I will get better, I know it.
Split personalities; Conflict her realities
But her linguistics; Split anatomies;
Vertigo catastrophy; with haphazard analogies
Blindfolded and walking through my tragedy
Off the dock ; I’m off the clock casually
Awaiting my death; my last breathe is naturally
My first moment of clarity; I’m not afraid to die
Simple n plain when it’s that day it’s time
I hope my life shine through the darkness
That blinds you; finds you, after all:
I had the time to….
Rhyme To you.
This is my dumb-azz taking pictures of myself. A perhaps overly proud trans girl. A poet and an artist but who the f*ck isn’t these days? Right now I’m typing off of a hoop-tie of a macbook but it does the trick… trick.
So another about me post. Thinking* This is stupid but anyways… Why do I write? Two huge influential women is why…My mom got me a book about 5 years ago called “The Artists Way” by Julia Cameron and “This book” is designed to ignite your creative side on a daily basis. And one of the instructions on this book is SIMPLY WRITING. As soon as you wake up; you write. It doesn’t matter what it is. Just wake up and write… And the other influential woman was my media art teacher Kat Thorsen; Kat Thorsen works wonders in the community and Ive seen her do it over and over and over again… If your reading this we all love ya Kat. Saving peoples lives n everything…
I am hardly someone to be writing “about me” posts because I am not touted as that girl making an impact in the world… like at all… I write this an about me post hoping that you write an about me post because… We are reading your work; you impact our lives. Funny because I don’t think I impact anyones life hahaha…But I try and do so anyways through various mediums. It really doesn’t matter if you’re acknowledged or not; its how you look back. Saying you did that. Then sitting here like I am now… Saying “what next?” Be proud and be yourself….
Whats next. Im just gonna hit publish; like fuck it.
Drippedy-Drop… Its a wet kinda dey.
Unsure of what to say… She types… anyways….
Its dark n cold…. n cold n dark
She has no new spark to quote; remark.
With an audacity to type exactly what she has to say: Nothing
Type because I have to type and write so its written…
It contacted the lines onto the screen.
What were her means of musing; nothing said: “amusing”.
Like a doctor sues with no epic pictures
Just stupid rhyme mixture elixer
Flickering light fixture
Or is there?
Ive been blogging for 10 months and its been a blast writing articles, poetry and journaling but I have been starting to miss spending my spare time painting and sketching. I am exited to dedicate the months leading up to summer painting the things in life that inspire me.
I find inspiration from so many things; buddhism, graffiti, anime and my traditional native art to; painting portraits or abstract art and it is truly just as gratifying as writing a heartfelt poem or blog post. I’m happy to return to the sketchbook, wood, canvas and sometimes the concrete.
I spent a short portion today painting a large portrait of buddha and I loved it!
Im happy to keep it moving!
Care to join me?