I dream of the promise land; where peace abides
Mountains streamline across the sky
Prayer flags cross the trails on my path to freedom
I am given help along my jouney
Compassion for all the sentient beings on earth
This is my path and it was always meant for me
Rebirth; Samsara
Or a heavenly Nirvana
Sobriety was something I had previously thought to be unattainable; the anxiety of life too much to bear without substance, without alcohol. I needed it for almost anything and usually there was no stopping me from obtaining it; and always wanting more. A vicious cycle of dependence which could not be broken. Thank god I was wrong.
I am currently 8 months sober and the benefits have reached and blessed every aspect of life. I have less anxiety, less illnesses, less arguments, less confusion, less injury, less financial burdens and I could go on forever. Most importantly I have accepted buddha and my sobriety go hand in hand on this path that I have chosen.
There are so many ways to conquer demons of which used to control my life. Im finding myself in meditation everywhere I go and every day that I stay. It is very important for my day to day balance to practice the teachings of various meditations and perhaps my writings can lead others to finding a healthier balance in life regardless of religious belief or path.
Thats all for now.
Love Nina
Its been a very long time since I have been away from WordPress. Id like to come back to this and reintroduce myself. My name is Nina and I’m 31 years old. Im a Buddhist, a step mother, an artist and a trans woman. I started this blog while living in a homeless shelter many years ago and I can remember walking across the street to the coffee shop to do my daily blogging every morning. I had originally thought i would simply write about living on the streets, but. It became much more than that.
Im returning now as many things have changed. I got married and am looking after a young one. I am sober. For the first time in my life. Something like 8 or 9 months. It has been easy but it hasn’t. I am very thankful for this morning; an opportunity to speak and place another step on this path. The path of buddha, sobriety, motherhood, art and most importantly love.
Im not sure where to begin but I suppose I already have. So since I have been gone; budhism has truly become my path. I have realized there is no place for alcohol in a buddhist. I see the dhamma now as the only path to be on. I am also a visual artist. A graffiti writer and painter. I am shocked and happy to say that art is my profession yet am still but what you would call the starving artist. But I am happy.
Sobriety was taken away from me by the age of 13. So 17 years of usage which is more than half of my life and pretty much the entirety of my adult life. I have found new ways to enjoy life, to cope with pain and anxiety. As i write i feel like the lotus blooming from the mud.
Hello everyone. Im here again. Im back
Love Nina
Walking this path I count my steps
Carefully count my breaths
Walking straight and mindful
Vowing to bring fourth kindness
Drawing another breath I focuss
The simple motions
Eliminating negative emotions
Om nami padme hum
Loving living lotus compassion
Grant me the needed wisdom to encapsul
So i may bring joy while my steps
Carefully counting every breath
May peace spread across the globe
As simple as to eyes to see and hands to hold
May light illuminate the dark
Revealing truth and love within our hearts
May the sick be healed and blind can see
There is no pain; for you nor me
May the lost be found; in this crazy world
Rise up like the lotus
Help to cultivate the good.
I see the words along the page
As eyes watch my words
Words describing themselves
I’m inscribing myself
On hyperweb
I’m hyperactivity
Depraved of my enlightenment
it’s
Captivity
Perhaps if my ego is forgiven me n no longer lives in me
More mindful kindness handfuls of love to remind us
Of compassion as we face life’s lashes
Nina
How do they not see
The love and compassion
As the world crumbles
I have been reborn over and over but… This time is different I’ve never been sober for this long; decades of relentless; alcohol dependence
The days are in the hundreds; gather abundance; knowledge. Confront my fears try to be humble and acknowledge.
Keep focus; meditation half lotus. Buddha quotes rewrote them post them. Try to be open.
Lessons learned; a great deal. I wait still. Time stands still. The virtue of patience.
As I await, awake here.
It’s the morning again; my favorite time to write poetry
My wife lay asleep across the room on our bed
Although things have been hard, I am optimistic
I’ve shown myself a better path, so my walk is easier
At least in the now; that fact remains
I have to continue to be mindful of the future
And live present in each moment; one after the next
I take a deep breath and ground myself; I’m alive
I remember an anxious moment yesterday
And knowing that to live is to suffer
But that thought passed; as all thoughts and moments do
I close my eyes; to simply shut them.
Makes me calm. Collected. Present.
And I take another breath.
Where I’m going doesn’t matter; now is time
I can build towards anything; but nothing is promised
So I do not attach myself with the future
I shall cut my ties with worry and sorrow
In this pitch black sky; I am here
 
A Buddhist monk who studied and meditated on the teachings of Buddha for over a decade wanted to speak with an enlightened one who dwelled alone in a small temple high in the mountains. He prepared for his journey eager to hear his teaching. After 7 days of rigorous hiking he reached the temple.
The master greeted him and welcomed him inside. The master put some tea on to boil and they sat in silence. The monk became very eager and unsettled in not hearing his teaching. The master poured the tea and sat with the monk. The monk didn’t drink his tea and began questioning his master of Buddha.
The master replied.. “You have studied Buddhism for 20 years and can not simply enjoy this cup of tea?” The monk wept…. as another step to enlightenment lay under his feet….
Nina
GoodnightNina. 
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