Keep it positive. Keep it real. At times of uncertainty and troubles, we tend to overcome by anxiety of all the things that might happen-the what ifs. People tend to tangle themselves of scenarios that are created out of worries and projected fear. I am not talking about real and immediate danger; but rather I … Continue reading Keep It Positive. Keep It Real.©
The stress of being a trans girl and manic depressive is sometimes overwhelming but I feel as though I always come out on top. Sure I have my days of dysphoria or anxiety to the point of panic attacks and teardrops. But I also have days that I conquer the world; constantly doing things I didn’t think I could do and have never done before. Few months ago I was living in the streets and not knowing what was going to happen; and that didn’t even bother me so much in the cold of winter, I just knew I was safe, and I was too strong to let it take me over. Being in the homeless shelter didn’t even make me flinch. Now I’m living in a beautiful spot and STILL sober. STILL not slummin’ my life away for the fuck of it. Honestly… You got to just keep it movin’.
I used to use every excuse in the book to pick up bottles and self indulge in anything and everything self indulgence means…
When we have our bad days we aught to use them even more wisely than the good days. Some of my best writing, art and videos are from the worst moments in my life. You can use your pain as power. When you do shit you’re afraid of doing just cause you can it brings you to a whole new place. When my girlfriend helped release me from many shells I was hiding in; I was again reborn. Always being reborn. She’s the world to me and I couldn’t do it on my own. And the streets showed me that I’m part of something bigger than just myself and my life. I’ve been told that I inspire people; I dont know how much of an inspiration I can be but I guess that I am truly trying, so thank you to everyone showing me support.
It truly means the world.
You can view the video by opening it up with your YouTube app from your smart device. Photography by Paulette L Motzko, PLM Studios, Las Vegas, NV
via Watch “Your words and thoughts have physical power – Will Smith” on YouTube — Totally Inspired Mind…
Outside it is pouring a warm rain, I’ve left the door wide open, just listening. Drinking my coffee wishing I had slept in but that’s never the case for me. The rain is beautiful and calming and I know warm weather is coming soon and I desperately need it, Sun and exploration. I have a Canon rebel hoping to be out doing street photography shoots and skate videos. Walking the city and hiking the mountains. I know. Good times are coming.
I’m still enjoying my transition; I shouldn’t even call it that because I feel complete. Instead: I’m enjoying life as a woman. I don’t have dysphoria for the most part. Sometimes I don’t even wear makeup and simply rely on my natural beauty; which feels good. I love shopping and building a never-ending wardrobe, I love doing my makeup and picking my outfits or wearing the intimate types for me or my girlfriend and my life is a thousand times better this way.
I’m climbing out of my depressive state; slowly but surely. Taking my blog seriously and taking life seriously around 100 days sober. It’s taken some getting used to coming from using my whole life and recently living in the the shelter to my beautiful home and completely sober but I’m extremely hopeful for the future; letting go of destructive uses of time and onto the constructive… I’m supposed to be tapering down my anxiety meditation but I might have to tell my doctor that I’m actually not ready for that. The thought of battling it without meditation is just… ugh. My anxiety still has a firm grip on me basically; not for any particular reason, it’s just my bipolar.
So basically I’m just overcoming, striving to be better than I was yesterday and holding onto the positives that keep me going. Extremely blessed and lucky: to be alive, to be with my love, having a home and infinite opportunities to grasp and work with. As for anxiety/depression/bipolar, I’m just going to take control of my life and ride the shit out. I’ve been through way too much in this life to let that shit control me. Fuck that.
I don’t feel as though being transgender as a burden, to me it’s a blessing. Many gods, goddesses and spiritual guides were intersex or changed gender over time. Some aboriginal tribes in north America had a name for it centuries ago ” 2 spirit ”
Although unacceptable in Muslim and Christian faiths I am neither. In Buddhism they regard it as your spiritual qualities from your past life arising in your present. I do not need validation from anyone or anything to be myself.
Countries around the world need to show basic human rights, laws protecting trans people across the world. I see suffering in the trans community from an ignorant world without conscious mind on human spirituality and science.
I am a proud transgender woman urging you to be whatever you want to be. Manifest yourself a brighter future in regards to your identity. You need not a label nor a piece of paper. You need not to be understood by all.
But you need to be yourself,
Tempt one the paralyzed la graffiti artist who draws with his eyes tells us about his new documentary.
Source: (no title)
Blessing to be alive and recognize that girl in the mirror, she’s smiling and smiling, smiling delirious.
Smiling in pouring rain, smiling in snow, smiling is important, to smile when it’s cold.
Miracles seen, kind of like lifelike dream but ,materialized unto me, so I’m so positive indeed
Battling happily, keep writing and enter psyche, destructured and restructured, sharing, airing it out for my comfort likely
This moment…. will I remember love beaming from my heart when it’s done?
Cause last week I was in the streets; darkness cast shadows on the sun.
Nina Yin Vestergaard
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