I see myself; Inside and out..
Reflecting each others burdens and blessings.
Beautifully damaged imperfect perfectionz.
In this moment I’m Time Travel In.
Time Continues Unravel In.
Side my soul.
Finding myself; there she is.
In the mirror I stared;
There it is.
And theres nothing that can change me
Very strange me and thats okay me
Unique me; so critique me if you please
Me isn’t perfect and never claimed to be
I will love n smile when the rain begins to fall
And then I will love when the sun begins to shine
I’m going to appreciate that which is beautiful and simple
Like this moment as I type; And sip my warm coffee
Thankful to be alive and breathing
I don’t write to gain; but perhaps learn about myself and…
Just to be happy for that moment; look back at it and smile again
We don’t have time to fret; life is simply too short
So I am here; smiling for no particular reason
But it does
Just a smiley note for day
Today I have an appetite to write; Finally back to a stage where I feel comfy sharing my life.
“Its been a hard 6 months but I think I can finally jump back on top of the ball; bounce off the walls happy and giddy… I think that is my true side after all.”…
I used to love to write journal entries in my blog and I think I can do it again.
One of the first things that comes to my mind is you L.C. ;
To my lovely girlfriend it was great to see you yesterday if you are reading this.
Whatever I choose to say doesn’t even really matter; I’d be happy to splatter the page with utter bonkers nonsense. But I don’t really have to do that. Rats…
So it was a hard 6 months being sick and not seeing the love of my life as much as I wish but amazing things have happened to me whether I like to acknowledge them or not.
Wait what are the amazing things? Well… I am still alive; thats one. I have battled mental and physical illness and won. Thats two… I’m still very much in love with my girl… Thats threeeee. I don’t know is three little things amazing enough? Yeah I guess it is.
OH. A year anniversary of moving into my home. Realistically; things are great, I am often just extremely happy to be lying in my bed and staring at the ceiling. Battling Bipolar comes with some serious depression but I have learned over the past 10 years with it how to deal.
Woah this really is just a rant of nothingness. Hmmm… Nothingness is pretty calm though.
I wonder if I even still have readers that look to my posts after I seemingly started giving less and less…. I suppose I am still writing some poetry of course but It “In my opinion” doesn’t have the same finesse as when I began.
I promise to give it my all. From now on.
Why don’t I write any more? Have I gotten out of the groove? I said it was back to art? But how much art have I actually done? It seems like I fret without the constant attention I seek and its become oh so clear that I have a fear of abandonment. I aught to be ashamed of myself. Nawwwww I shouldn’t be its just the way I am. Nevertheless a very lucky girl indeed with oh so many blessings to keep me going!
Dear god if you can hear me I want to thank you for everything you’ve given me and even the things you havnt or have not yet or never will. NORMALLY I wouldn’t even acknowledge you god but I am not perfect. Maybe you are not either? Or maybe you are? Or maybe you don’t exist? Or maybe I am the god I am talking to deep inside myself. But I don’t think so. But it is good to be humble and thankful and as peaceful as you possibly can. Its a beautiful morning indeed as the rain pours down outside my windows.
Thank you god/ Universe for all the people in my life; its amazing how many people are out there and its almost like they are there JUST for me. Its very special; I want you to know if you’re listening I am thankful you put my girlfriend in my life she’s truly wonderful for me and we’ve come along way together so please help guide us in the right direction; in particular help guide me in the right direction and keep her safe god. Keep my parents safe as well and all of my friends, they deserve the best; they are beautiful. As is everything in creation if we can all live in peace. Peace be upon this world in the name of everything beautiful.
Alien space ship space whip the matrix you should see my fuckinfaces .
got abstract bars so I had to contact mars, I need some alien beats that I can bump in my car…
*Beep boop*. Message received! “Nina Shade; Earthling. Ayo we got what you need.”
So I jumped in the space ship space whip bumping mix tape “matrix”my girlfriend naked.
(And you know she’s getting probed in all kinda places.)
Next thing you know Im all bobby tech digital. Blasted off in the ride to the next stop the hydroponic shop endo.
Back to home planet and I wanna hit it again. Turntables. Incence and INTENSE… yeah…
The red pill and the blue pill sitting on the dresser. I decided to pop both to trip and see what would happen.
The shadows and lights were some magical plight. Shout outs to MARS
“what a magical night…”