They think Im somethin special But I think Im like everything from the shelf. Im. Just myself nothin else, nothin extraordinary. Nothing noteworthy from my inventory now heres the story. Im just trynna survive mine; Life. Im not a cat I dont got nine Lives. Just chillin n livin’ working on many things and one of them things forgiveness. Ive been beat up and down and I been around the block. Down and up and drinkin till Im drowned my sorrows weigh more than pounds n Im sorry. For anything that went down that hurt anyone along my journey. I try to keep my head up; right now I’m trynna get some bread up cause Im fed up with the sky high prices of simple ass stuff. Like a bed and a place to rest my head; this is crazy I cant even afford to live in a shed. When I wrote this; I simply bled emotions poetical therapy But naw Im not hopeless. Im actually ontop of it; climbing n never droppin it; philosophies im trying to follow it and acknowledging my own accomplishments.
Why did I title this… against all odds? Happiness? Well..For months and months Ive been battling health issues. I spent over a month being dehydrated and extremely light headed (fainting occasionally) and I “FINALLY” conquered that issue recently. It was preventing me from getting work and I was exited for it to be over. BUT Week or Two later… I began throwing up every morning uncontrollably… Its like morning sickness but Im sadly not pregnant…This has persisted for over a month now as well and we still aren’t really sure what is causing me to be so sick this time, the medication they gave me doesn’t seem to be working… But whatever y’know? Against all odds Imma Just Do Me and BE HAPPY.
I can’t let this sh–t drag me down; I will do whatever I got to do to get through this! and do it happily along the way, hehehe… Peace to all of my followers! and all the people I follow! So much respect to my fellow bloggers, you definitely without knowing it have helped me through these times haha… I don’t like to do any : ANY complaining blog posts. No thats not my style at all. This is a post about positivity and striving to do your best when things are trying to drag you down.
I love my girlfriend (my muse) lol, love her very much and my extremely supportive parents and I know they all want to see me doing well and being happy. I hope I make em proud… I celebrate 3 years on hormone replacement therapy ;So thats three years of my life I am extremely EXTREMELY thankful for; its been amazing. No doubt; amazing. Came a long way from last year itself. And yeah… Thats about it for the thankful rant…
Peace everyone. Stay happy, positive and strive on. (Through all obstacles)
I feel like if you believe strong enough something will happen. No matter how far away it is. If you start walking toward it; realizing it or not. You’re going to get there. Through the universes law of attraction. Good things and bad things and everything in between can be manifested. – Nina
5:00 AM July 23rd.
Coffee brews and the sky slightly lit and the neighbourhood in silence, other than the sounds of the frogs that live in the gutters. I’m tired but, not too tired to write. Finally my mind has readjusted back to the before sunrise wake-up time. So; I’m up before my alarm goes off and I quickly silence it. Todays forecast is sunny n clouds with a high of 22 n a low of 14. Awake and alone as I’ve been for months in the morning. The day is young, and its mine…
Yes I’m alone; always alone in the morning n thats cool with me. Realizing lately that it’s okay to be alone, although it wasn’t easy for me to come to accept that notion. Being happy with ones own company is important for growth as a person and it give you time to think and I’ve been thinking a lot.
Thinking about the future and… An odd thing to feel is that you have manifested all of the aspects of your life to come together into a certain way; almost perfectly in sync… Seriously, the laws of attraction gives you these things you wanted and you try and ask yourself what you really want next? “What do I want?” and “Why do I want that?” or “How am I going to get that / there?” . How do I begin the process of manifesting once again? I honestly don’t know where I want to be heading next…
There are ways to try to manifest and realize / actualize your future through brain and mind maps; collages and lists of goals or visions of yourself in the future and I’ve used them several times which helped me get to many of the steps I’ve amounted to. Perhaps it’s time to rekindle the idea of manifesting through creativity and hard work and exploring ideas of what I really want for the rest of my life.
Luckily I’m alive today; Healthy with an opportunity to go after anything that I want. I don’t have anything holding me back (other than an anxiety disorder) but everyone has issues with that one way or another and I know that I’m extremely lucky for the freedom to choose any path… that, and as well as having all the supports I need… I am not in this alone…
Just alone in this physical moment.
At 5:00 AM July 23rd.
-Lotus in the Mud- Street Art, Poetry & The Inner Bodhisattva