Without language and open eyes, Running through a mossy forest I roused out of the bush Into the city. I was curious of the lights through the windowpanes And of the cars and trains, Cityskapes and cranes. I was playful and oblivious; toying with fire. With colorful emotions and with speech… Who is that… Making the onlookers angry with the innocent grins. Concrete playgrounds with monsters and mongrels, Angels and demons. In this City of Sin
Unaware of gifted assistance, I manifested different stories for my journey and an inexplicable imagination good, bad, the ugly, magnificence; Bouncing around the new jungle like a gypsy , Speaking in different tongues And resting my head; wherever suits best. Falling in and out of love. Hope and loss .
Not sure if I was found or lost.
It’s all in the head.
I’m going to attempt to write more about myself,
I was always different for sure. Too much too handle for pretty much anyone I grew up with, became friends with or had relationships with. I was kicked out of home at a young age, bipolar disorder and an addictive personality: constantly lit or trying to get high or drugged out and party…being homeless and running the streets with kid gangs basically. Doing petty crimes and shit it was stupid. I’ve changed a lot.
Being transgender only started to blossom when I turned 18, living in a crack shack that the government called a “group home”. Starting to dress how I wanted to …I liked getting drunk, a lot. I’ve always had hobbies and passions but mixing em up with drugs and alcohol was deemed necessary on a daily basis. I also thought drinking was giving me the courage to dress how I wanted.
I’ve been in a few abusive relationships, somehow managing to graduate college and various courses that peaked my interest. When I worked construction it was like selling my feminine soul and I hated myself for it for over 7 years. But nevertheless at 25 I started hormones and transitioned into myself; female full time. I have zero regrets. I have no doubt in my mind of who I am and the choice I made was right.
Since I transitioned Ive had several jobs, schools and was never really targeted for being a trans woman. But I had been partying for a living… for a year…the drugs twisted my mind. I met my girlfriend online, she helped me get out of the trap. She encourages me to peruse any art, job or school I like and I’m happy. Sober. In Love. I can’t get enough and it’s like I’m comfortable for the first time you know?
Dedicated to my girl.