Transitioning. Male to female. -Nina

Touching on the subject. Going male to female….

Although I had been dressing as a female in public for many years, and living as a woman on and off. For relationship reasons sigh… : For one year I had attempted to be completely male, bad mistake. “Now” Realizing how far from the real me I had been “acting”. I  got into a treatment program and started hormones with almost a completely shaved head, YIKES. I had been working construction heavily and was extremely muscular, you can see in this video: A male version of me. Right before Hormone Replacement Therapy.

I was extremely sceptical if I could find my way back to my feminine self. I was and always am faced with little bits of discrimination here and there, It made me anxious but I knew I had to try or I would regret it for the rest of my life. Slowly but surely my hair grew long, my muscles in my arms started to vanish and my breasts grew larger and larger by the months. Men and women alike all of a sudden wanted something from me… my old friends and even married ex girlfriends wanted to sleep with me. Nevertheless I was happier my transition was working well.

After about 2 years I started to feel complete, luckily for me and unlike a few of my trans girl friends surgery or any procedure for that matter wasn’t anything I wanted or needed. I had slight self confidence issues and still had a few things to learn about the confidence and grace a beautiful woman such as myself and should be able to portray. The internet leads to ugly places most of the time but…I had met the love of my life… With a little help from my girlfriend I dressed less conservative, far more sexy in public. It was extremely liberating and a huge growth for me.

A video of me now! 🙂 – Butterfly*** Subscribe to my channel if you’d like.

Me today: not the flashiest of pictures but to me it’s just an example.

 

 

Today I’m able to dress however I want to, go to whatever bathroom, I’m treated how I’d like for the most part and I have zero regrets. Luckily for me I had basic supporters; my friends and family, this is almost impossible to do alone. My health care covers all my medication “Ohhh Canadaaaaa.”, and thrift stores provide me with clothes I can actually afford; progressing my style and confidence.

That’s basically how the shit went in a nutshell. Of course I gave up a few ignorant people along the way but I think that that’s great that they can fuck off! Fuck right off lol.

Peace n blessings.

Nina

 

A check in with Nina ( About me part 5 )

So I’ve been  blogging for about two months now, this isn’t my first time trying wordpress but I have never been this dedicated and with this much purpose. As a transgender artist I think my presence as a writer, youtube artist, rapper, graffiti artist and poet speaks volumes on the great changes to myself and other trans individuals across the world. Please join me.

I never in my life would have thought of “putting myself out there” for the world the way I have been doing, especially on my YouTube, especially as a trans girl! Www.YouTube.com/innashademusic. (Please check me out and subscribe). But as I grow older I realize how important self expression and art can really be! That, and conquering your fears. This is very important….Sometimes a samurai has to shed their armor.

I was terrified to transition to a girl full time. But in the end it saved my life and I could not possibly be happier on how it turned out. An outspoken artist I remain and I feel as though my transition is done. I’ve grown so much over the past few years and I just want to share this hope and inspiration with trans people and people in general alike.

I’d like this blog to really grow into something special, my followers have risen and I am ecstatic to get reactions and feedback from my work. We all grow artistically together here on wordpress; unlike facebook I get on WordPress and completely dedicate myself to writing and posting something special for the masses. The closer I can grow to my readers and fellow bloggers the more I’m going to progress.

I am in no way, shape or form a perfect person but they say the lotus flower can only bloom in the mud. As I work on my craft I’d like to thank the people pushing me along; to keep me creating and writing, drawing and filming. I’m going to keep pushing, harder than I ever have before. Perhaps I’ll start sharing more and more personal stories on WordPress because I do have many stories and lessons; a lifetime of struggle and success in its overcoming glory. To share.

Thank you.

– Nina

 

 

 

Taste the rainbow. Be the rainbow. “Transgender Pride”

A Transgender Note – Nina

I don’t feel as though being transgender as a burden, to me it’s a blessing. Many gods, goddesses and spiritual guides were intersex or changed gender over time. Some aboriginal tribes in north America had a name for it centuries ago ” 2 spirit ”

Although unacceptable in Muslim and Christian faiths I am neither. In Buddhism they regard it as your spiritual qualities from your past life arising in your present. I do not need validation from anyone or anything to be myself.

Countries around the world need to show basic human rights, laws protecting trans people across the world. I see suffering in the trans community from an ignorant world without conscious mind on human spirituality and science.

I am a proud transgender woman urging you to be whatever you want to be. Manifest yourself a brighter future in regards to your identity. You need not a label nor a piece of paper. You need not to be understood by all.

But you need to be yourself,

Love Nina

“To be or not to be?”. A transgender conundrum.

I happened to open an old journal today… it’s interesting to take a look back at a little over  2 and a half years ago when I had put myself in process to get my hormone replacement therapy. I was extremely exited and optimistic, bubbly jabbering in my journal about how much fun I would have transitioning and making notes on my hair styles and aparell. It took a long time but I finally made the right decision for me. This decision took nearly 9 years. It was amazing, more than amazing ; to get to the hardest cornerstone decision that shaped me to the woman I am today. I was proud of it but, this long wait came with its costs…. this 9 year wait was my nightmare of which I could not awake from and still occasionally reminds me of a deeply rooted pain.

It’s extremely common for transgender youth to know that they are a little different than the rest of the flock but unable to fully express themselves, discover themselves or even acknowledge themselves at all! For years we hide our identity or face mountainous in our way: coming out and transitioning and not being treated with simple equality and fairness in the family home and society as well. For myself I was always anxious about anyone knowing or talking about the fact I had crossdressing tendencies; from panic attacks to the secrets I kept to the the dark and dangerous places in the real and online world where I found comfort.

 

For some reason homophobic and transphobic jokes and stereotypes are prevalent among youth. So prevalent it is as though it’s embedded so deep into society that you learn to call someone a faggot before you learn to clean your room. This causes an immediate effect on youth preventing growth and acceptance. I remember it starting in early elementary school, and just now starting to fade away in my late twenties. Hearing this language so much as a kid caused me to jump on a hateful bandwagon that would be quick to bash who I have become today, and who I realized I always have been; a proud transgender woman.

“To be or not to be?”. The question I and many other trans folks ask or had been asking themselves for years. “Should I come out? Should I transition?” Or even, “will I even survive this where I am at in my life? “Where do I fit in the gender spectrum?” Circumstances make everyone’s story vary from the one person to the next. For some it’s work or family, financial or relationship, social or morality. I find in most cases that we all have to run, dodge and bite the bullets coming at us on all fronts.

I made up my mind. In November 2014 I began HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)….To fully transion. I kept pushing in life, going to school and working as a woman under the name I had chosen for myself some years ago, “Nina”. Changing daily routines like bathrooms and reminding people of my preferred pronouns and coming across hateful people in and out of my inner circles was a challenge. But a challenge I gladly faced.

If I can give hope to anybody struggling with these issues I must say that it’s been an amazing journey ever since. I was anew, like being reborn it was surely a fresh start. Today I can honestly say it was one, if not the best decision I have ever made. Obstacles come and go but living my truth, my destiny.

…. Priceless.

Nina Vestergaard