(Against all odds) Just be happy anyways!

Why did I title this… against all odds? Happiness? Well..For months and months Ive been battling health issues. I spent over a month being dehydrated and extremely light headed (fainting occasionally) and I “FINALLY” conquered that issue recently. It was preventing me from getting work and I was exited for it to be over. BUT Week or Two later… I began throwing up every morning uncontrollably…  Its like morning sickness but Im sadly not pregnant…This has persisted for over a month now as well and we still aren’t really sure what is causing me to be so sick this time, the medication they gave me doesn’t seem to be working… But whatever y’know? Against all odds Imma Just Do Me and BE HAPPY.

I can’t let this sh–t drag me down; I will do whatever I got to do to get through this! and do it happily along the way, hehehe… Peace to all of my followers! and all the people I follow! So much respect to my fellow bloggers, you definitely without knowing it have helped me through these times haha… I don’t like to do any : ANY complaining blog posts. No thats not my style at all. This is a post about positivity and striving to do your best when things are trying to drag you down.

I love my girlfriend (my muse) lol, love her very much and my extremely  supportive parents  and I know they all want to see me doing well and being happy. I hope I make em proud… I celebrate 3 years on hormone replacement therapy ;So thats three years of my life I am extremely EXTREMELY thankful for; its been amazing. No doubt; amazing. Came a long way from last year itself. And yeah… Thats about it for the thankful rant…

Peace everyone. Stay happy, positive and strive on. (Through all obstacles)

-Nina

As weird as your heart desires.

Be as weird as your heart desires,
Free of societal fires.
If I did what they said I’d surely be dead,
Now my weirdness is sheerly desired.
Calm and collected; Watching my silly reflection.
Everything they hated; I made it, I claimed it
Admire it.

-Nina

GoodnightNina – Who knew? Transitioning ; Slam Poetry

I was always picked last in sports, I laugh at being picked last

because they saw past what I could; not even…

Recognise in the first place, never did I see first place in sports

But I took up a new gender like sports, wait…

Lets reverse pace; I was picked last because perhaps

They knew before I knew I knew I was a girl, I knew I was a girl?

Did I twirl? Was that the give-away?

I remember once I was told I look like one. Twelve; Dumbfounded

Delve into childhood, Perhaps That was the time I began to find myself…

I’m not sure… What I am sure of,

Is I can never be sure of damn near anything

Other than my decision to transition, that meant everything.

It wasn’t hard to transition at all.

It was hard to pretend to be a man like fraud (((guilty as charged))) 🙂 !!

-Pause-

Serious shit…

I feel complete sorrow, for all those that can’t transition tomorrow

This god damn world, I’m lucky as fuck.

Its called hormone replacement therapy;

And it worked wonders for my clarity

Anyone against transgender rights can spare me

“Beware the”

Powers of hatred in the world

Us girls got it hard sometimes; That scares me

Ive survived a lot

Extremely thankful, to be doing different things for a bankroll

Write a little rhyme thats tasteful.

Thank God….

-Nina

They knew before I Knew I was a girl. (Did I twirl?)

I was always picked last-in sports. I laugh at being picked-last because they saw past what I could not. Even recognize in the first place. Never did I see first place in sports but I took up a new gender like sports… wait… lets reverse pace. I was picked last because perhaps they knew before I knew I was a girl before I… Knew I was a girl. (Did I twirl?) Was that the give away? I remember once being told I looked like one. I was absolutely dumbfounded ; at the age of 12. Delve into childhood.  Perhaps that was around the time I began to find my self. Im not sure… What I’m sure of is that I can never be sure of… damn near anything. OTHER THAN MY DECISION TO TRANSITION. That meant everything.

It wasn’t hard to transition at all, it was hard to pretend to be a man like FRAUD. (Guilty as charged)!. I feel complete sorrow for my sisters across the globe who would die to transition but can’t because of this GOD DAMN world. “I’m waiting on tomorrow”

Im lucky as FUCK… and Its called hormone replacement “therapy” and it worked miracles for my clarity. Anyone against transgender rights can spare me. Beware the… power of hatred in the world; us girls got it hard sometimes and that scares me. I survived a lot and Im extremely thankful. I could do a lot of different things for a bankroll but I’d rather write a little rhyme thats… tasteful.

*Thanks god*

Love you Larissa.

XO

-Nina

Black and white…. me. “Pride”

People.”Some people”… think being transgender is wrong. It’s unnatural and disgusting, That I’m disgraceful. Looking at myself: Being myself, Expressing myself. ; I have absolutely no idea what they are taking about.

-Nina

How it feels wearing a dress / trans in public…

I didn’t get the opportunity to grow up wearing dresses. I feel … naked!

Lol

Nina

“Keep going!” she said…

The tears

They stream down my face.

On a breakdown verge.

An… Apocalypse

Of the mind

Shattered pieces of life

Ashes

Something is heard through my sobbing…

Hearing myself as a child.

Screaming at me…

Screaming through space and time

At the top of her lungs

Through the years of pain and anguish

She screams.

“Keep going! Your almost there!”.

I hear her…

and I turn away from my nightmare….

wipe my chin*

“Thank you”.

I say back to her…

And place one more step

And then another…

Towards the concept…

The idea…

Of freedom…

And all of its glory.

 

-Nina