Tag Archives: Transgender

(Against all odds) Just be happy anyways!

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Why did I title this… against all odds? Happiness? Well..For months and months Ive been battling health issues. I spent over a month being dehydrated and extremely light headed (fainting occasionally) and I “FINALLY” conquered that issue recently. It was preventing me from getting work and I was exited for it to be over. BUT Week or Two later… I began throwing up every morning uncontrollably…  Its like morning sickness but Im sadly not pregnant…This has persisted for over a month now as well and we still aren’t really sure what is causing me to be so sick this time, the medication they gave me doesn’t seem to be working… But whatever y’know? Against all odds Imma Just Do Me and BE HAPPY.

I can’t let this sh–t drag me down; I will do whatever I got to do to get through this! and do it happily along the way, hehehe… Peace to all of my followers! and all the people I follow! So much respect to my fellow bloggers, you definitely without knowing it have helped me through these times haha… I don’t like to do any : ANY complaining blog posts. No thats not my style at all. This is a post about positivity and striving to do your best when things are trying to drag you down.

I love my girlfriend (my muse) lol, love her very much and my extremely  supportive parents  and I know they all want to see me doing well and being happy. I hope I make em proud… I celebrate 3 years on hormone replacement therapy ;So thats three years of my life I am extremely EXTREMELY thankful for; its been amazing. No doubt; amazing. Came a long way from last year itself. And yeah… Thats about it for the thankful rant…

Peace everyone. Stay happy, positive and strive on. (Through all obstacles)

-Nina

GoodnightNina  – Who knew? Transitioning ; Slam Poetry

I was always picked last in sports, I laugh at being picked last

because they saw past what I could; not even…

Recognise in the first place, never did I see first place in sports

But I took up a new gender like sports, wait…

Lets reverse pace; I was picked last because perhaps

They knew before I knew I knew I was a girl, I knew I was a girl?

Did I twirl? Was that the give-away?

I remember once I was told I look like one. Twelve; Dumbfounded

Delve into childhood, Perhaps That was the time I began to find myself…

I’m not sure… What I am sure of,

Is I can never be sure of damn near anything

Other than my decision to transition, that meant everything.

It wasn’t hard to transition at all.

It was hard to pretend to be a man like fraud (((guilty as charged))) 🙂 !!

-Pause-

Serious shit…

I feel complete sorrow, for all those that can’t transition tomorrow

This god damn world, I’m lucky as fuck.

Its called hormone replacement therapy;

And it worked wonders for my clarity

Anyone against transgender rights can spare me

“Beware the”

Powers of hatred in the world

Us girls got it hard sometimes; That scares me

Ive survived a lot

Extremely thankful, to be doing different things for a bankroll

Write a little rhyme thats tasteful.

Thank God….

-Nina

They knew before I Knew I was a girl. (Did I twirl?)

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I was always picked last-in sports. I laugh at being picked-last because they saw past what I could not. Even recognize in the first place. Never did I see first place in sports but I took up a new gender like sports… wait… lets reverse pace. I was picked last because perhaps they knew before I knew I was a girl before I… Knew I was a girl. (Did I twirl?) Was that the give away? I remember once being told I looked like one. I was absolutely dumbfounded ; at the age of 12. Delve into childhood.  Perhaps that was around the time I began to find my self. Im not sure… What I’m sure of is that I can never be sure of… damn near anything. OTHER THAN MY DECISION TO TRANSITION. That meant everything.

It wasn’t hard to transition at all, it was hard to pretend to be a man like FRAUD. (Guilty as charged)!. I feel complete sorrow for my sisters across the globe who would die to transition but can’t because of this GOD DAMN world. “I’m waiting on tomorrow”

Im lucky as FUCK… and Its called hormone replacement “therapy” and it worked miracles for my clarity. Anyone against transgender rights can spare me. Beware the… power of hatred in the world; us girls got it hard sometimes and that scares me. I survived a lot and Im extremely thankful. I could do a lot of different things for a bankroll but I’d rather write a little rhyme thats… tasteful.

*Thanks god*

Love you Larissa.

XO

-Nina

“Keep going!” she said…

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The tears

They stream down my face.

On a breakdown verge.

An… Apocalypse

Of the mind

Shattered pieces of life

Ashes

Something is heard through my sobbing…

Hearing myself as a child.

Screaming at me…

Screaming through space and time

At the top of her lungs

Through the years of pain and anguish

She screams.

“Keep going! Your almost there!”.

I hear her…

and I turn away from my nightmare….

wipe my chin*

“Thank you”.

I say back to her…

And place one more step

And then another…

Towards the concept…

The idea…

Of freedom…

And all of its glory.

 

-Nina

 

The Internal and External Struggle For The “Transgender” Soul

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When I was around the age of 14 I looked into the mirror late one evening… I saw a surprised young female staring back at me and little did I know the perils facing me in the next coming decade…. Growing up as a rambunctious hoodlum I was extremely oblivious of the world around me. Although I was a sponge of all brands of culture I had no real concept of what it meant to see yourself a little different. I am now 27 years old, socially and self aware; finally am speaking to professionals about my ambition to be my opposite gender.

Internally the struggle to live as a functioning transgender member of society is indifferent and extremely additive to an already visually polluted and corrupted mind set of the world today. The DSM |V is a diagnostic statistics manual for mental health disorder’s. In the DSM they have recently changed the “gender identity disorder” to “gender dysmorphic disorder” or “gender dysphoria”. Dysphoric basically means that one does not feel right being “the norm” they believe that they must be different from what some may expect them to be (at least they removed disorder). Regardless, professional opinion is that if one dresses or acts beyond the expectation it is beyond the “norm”. I say fuck your expectations but hey… thanks for noticing we exist.

Transgender youth are at higher risk for numerous violent crimes, murders, suicides and other unpredictable circumstances in North North America. Externally we truly have a lot of monumental atrocities to deal with at this period in history, but at the same time “We Out Here” trying to change things fo’ yo’ kids! No body wants to be the subject of extreme bullying, hate crimes, gay/trans bashing ect, ect, ect. More and more people are “outing” and “coming out”, we are all dealing with this on one level or another. Thank you to all of the people fighting every day for a more accepting and loving society.

As we fight this never-ending battle with the world and with ourselves, its our soul whom we owe the victor. You are your own biggest fan! Trust in yourself and thus in your life because some say in the end… “thats all you have”. But give thanks to all your friends and family love them dearly from here to the ends of the earth because it doesn’t matter if you gay, straight, trans or bi. We all here together and nobody wants to live a lie.

-Nina