Damn the sun shines bright, The warmth is soothing. Peace… Until the later of the day. But we shall see. Thank god I got AC!
So far this morning Ive been emotional. I am an easily triggered girl lol. I always want to see the best in people but sometimes they make it difficult.
Most of my anxiety stems from self. I actually usually put the entire planet on a pedastal above me for the most part. And for some reason… I am worth nothing. I stay sober… I try to make changes for the better. Im trying to heal and rebuild myself. Strengthen my heart and soul.
Its a work in progress.
Anyway if you’re reading this Im sorry for wasting your time. I do this blog for my own therapy lol
I dont really feel quite myself at the moment as my heart thump thump thumps
Not quite as relaxing
I must somehow enjoy the rest of this beautiful day…
Now what can be dont besides mindless relaxation… Art perhaps? Cleaning? Youve been meaning to clean out the boxes in the entrance closets but THAT REQUIRES GOING OUTSIDE.
And no one wants that.
Lol…
Games? I seem tired of games. Maybe if I pick it up and start playing I will enjoy it. Or maybe not. Maybe I am depressed.
As I sip this coffee. Well… Guzzle this coffee… It does not seem to help the heart slow down. Neither did the ganja either. When will I ever learn…
But I can’t help it. These are my acts of escapism.
I may not be drinking or sniffing lines popping pills but I am still a junkie by all means. What does that mean? It means Im a dopamine fiend. Squeez it to the last drop.
-Lotus in the Mud- Street Art, Poetry & The Inner Bodhisattva
GoodnightNina. 
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