Category Archives: About me

About me. A return

Its been a very long time since I have been away from WordPress. Id like to come back to this and reintroduce myself. My name is Nina and I’m 31 years old. Im a Buddhist, a step mother, an artist and a trans woman. I started this blog while living in a homeless shelter many years ago and I can remember walking across the street to the coffee shop to do my daily blogging every morning. I had originally thought i would simply write about living on the streets, but. It became much more than that.

Im returning now as many things have changed. I got married and am looking after a young one. I am sober. For the first time in my life. Something like 8 or 9 months. It has been easy but it hasn’t. I am very thankful for this morning; an opportunity to speak and place another step on this path. The path of buddha, sobriety, motherhood, art and most importantly love.

Im not sure where to begin but I suppose I already have. So since I have been gone; budhism has truly become my path. I have realized there is no place for alcohol in a buddhist. I see the dhamma now as the only path to be on. I am also a visual artist. A graffiti writer and painter. I am shocked and happy to say that art is my profession yet am still but what you would call the starving artist. But I am happy.

Sobriety was taken away from me by the age of 13. So 17 years of usage which is more than half of my life and pretty much the entirety of my adult life. I have found new ways to enjoy life, to cope with pain and anxiety. As i write i feel like the lotus blooming from the mud.

Hello everyone. Im here again. Im back

Love Nina

New… About me

Through my weary eyes, I type. It is 5 am as the sun begins to rise on my side of this planet. My wife lay asleep while candles flicker throughout the house. Traditional Japanese music softly plays from the television. I don’t know why I’m writing but I do it regardless.

It’s been a very long time since I have been blogging and a lot has changed. I’m married with a step son now. And I’m sober for the first time in my life. To be honest I’ve never felt better. I am on a path; this path is beautiful.

And as I write the sun continues to rise and the music continues to play and time is slipping away into next and the best thing I can do is simply view it.

I’ve always counted my blessings. Abundant. Thankful.

There’s too much beauty in this world to waste any time in my personal opinion. So I practice love. Through various ways and means. I’ve been working very hard to better myself for my self. It’s working as my self doubt is exhaled into nothingness. Leaving me with nothing but peace.

Change rain.

So this is the retrograde rain

Of pain and joy?

Similes and metaphors

I regain control as the rain pours

But yes; to love change embrace pain

Tattering and trickling

Dripping on my soul

Yet is is filling me; I am whole

The whole world planets and stars

Watching the rain fall and wash

And cleanse

Seeds birth a new life

For me or for anyone and Everything

In this life

In this change

In this rain.

Nina

Ink therapy

It’s dark morning.

The time for rhyme therapy; my clarity

Climb out of disparity; hearing me

Write these words; observe purpose

Present moment is the service

Back again with a digital saturated pen

Micro ink blot.

Thank you my friend.

The universe grants me another day

Thankful and it’s never in vain

I’m finding peace here in the winters air

Northwest blessed

I’m feeling fresh and clear

I’m here


It’s the morning again; my favorite time to write poetry

My wife lay asleep across the room on our bed

Although things have been hard, I am optimistic

I’ve shown myself a better path, so my walk is easier

At least in the now; that fact remains

I have to continue to be mindful of the future

And live present in each moment; one after the next

I take a deep breath and ground myself; I’m alive

I remember an anxious moment yesterday

And knowing that to live is to suffer

But that thought passed; as all thoughts and moments do

I close my eyes; to simply shut them. 

Makes me calm. Collected. Present.

And I take another breath.

Where I’m going doesn’t matter; now is time

I can build towards anything; but nothing is promised

So I do not attach myself with the future

I shall cut my ties with worry and sorrow

In this pitch black sky; I am here

The way it is

My mental illness makes it so I can’t punch the clock

The medical system makes it so I can’t trust the docs

They say if you can’t run then you walk but my hearts running the shots

And My meds ain’t working no more in fact they make it worse than before

It’s beautiful and terrifying to be this perplexed

Down n out. You see my downs our out. What’s next?

I’m out

I miss you.

Abbot street; an old opium den. The Sun Ah hotel.

The elevator shaft once brought up. the heroin.

Now your blankets and trash are discarded in the rusted abyss.

The distinct smell of crack and meth house mixed with cigarettes, mold and bed bug spray.

Yet when times were rough indeed we still strived to achieve our dreams through tears and fears and thick and thin.

I watched over you and you watched over me. I miss you dearly J bird; rest in peace.

I’ll meet you in a ghetto in the sky and we’ll put a studio in our trap.

Vegan mango fruit juices and topical tropical psychedelic ganja.

I promise you I’m doing good down here and thinking of you my friend.

For me it’s almost like there’s no one left and I can’t wait to see you instead.

We can view the memoirs of our lives mixed and mastered plastered onto the sands of time.

Where do Angels go when they die? I hope to see you again; in the ghetto in the sky.

To JBIRD

LOVE NINA